Forecasts.

I have never used weather forecasts in Malaysia. I mean, it is a tropical country. It would either rain or not rain right? Now, I cannot imagine waking up in the morning and not checking the weather forecast. It's like a routine. :) I wake up in the morning. Turn to my side to find a handsome man next to me (warm fuzzy feelings, etc etc.) and I check my iPhone for weather forecasts.

Today read: cloudy periods with showers throughout the day easing later. Light winds. Alongside an image of a fluffy gray could with three rain droplets.

So I prepared for the day accordingly. I dressed for humidity and for rain. I walked out to class at 8:45am. Sun is out. Clear blue sky. No rain cloud in sight. Winds chilly. Well, it is Tasmania we're talking about here. It's about as volatile as women PMS-ing. Except that it is quite often. I believe Melbourne weather is to be of the same temperament.

Anyway, three hours later as I walked out of class, umbrella in hand, il fait beau. Weather's perfect. I look like a nut carrying an umbrella around. As I made my way home for lunch, one bloke walked passed wearing a t-shirt, jeans and under his arm, a massive black umbrella. I smiled. He must live by weather forecasts just as I. :)

I left two hours later for French class. Again, I brought along my umbrella. I was somewhat determined that it should rain. I even spotted a lone gray rain cloud making its way around up above. It would... rain later. Well, it's 4pm now and no, it has not rained. Il fait trés beau.

That is the thing with forecasts. It is merely a forecast and at the end of the day, there is always uncertainty. I prepared for the rain today despite beautiful weather staring me in the face. Why the pessimism? Or is it just being cautious?

It has been over two years since Alvin and I went out exclusively. Looking back, I believe we were different from how or where we are now. I was only 18 when I met him and I had a very innocent outlook on life. Not necessarily naive. But like a child's ignorance. He, to me, seemed so full of life and fun. But since then, we carry so much weight on our shoulders that we have forgotten how to be like we used to. This might not be too true for him. But for me, it feels like that. Honestly, it feels like the end of the world (figuratively, of course.). I'm still young, but at the same time, I feel so much older than I am. The older part of me looks back in retrospect and says, the end looked near and yet here I am standing and learning to trust more in sharing that weight with Him.

I guess when we're young and things get tough, everything looks bleak. Well, I've been trying to do the opposite. Not be a pessimist and let go a little. Yes, it's good to be cautious but then we'd miss out on the fun and what's right there for us. Like the blue skies...


Anyway, I don't want to have this weight on my shoulders any more. But tough not too when finals are around the corner and there are so much to be done at the same time knowing that if I screw this up one bit I am done for.

Stress stress...

Oh yes. Due to Sze Haw and Joyce's manic peach cheesecake and bibimbap photos, I cannot find peach cheesecake so I am having bibimbap for dinner. Yes, you two made me crave for bibimbap over a few time zones for a few days now. I hope you are happy. :)

Oh I cannot wait to see you Ipoh folks.
♥