i just read sze haw's comment on my previous post. her life is the a combo of mine and chrys'. lol. just wanted to laugh out loud about that.

there's a feeling a really really do not like. feeling like i am missing out on the lives of people i genuinely care about. (perhaps knowing that i am missing out on their lives.) i hate that feeling. i really do. having been uprooted three times. the count of friends in my already small circle of friends is decreasing by the year. -_- i do not want to sound like i'm discontented with the past 5 years. they were amazing. yet they were, in a way difficult to go through. every year i lose 'close friends'. yes we write once in awhile, we chat once in awhile. it's not the same. i find out he/she is doing all these things months/years later after not in contact for months/years. maybe it's just life. maybe that's how things go. maybe i'm still learning to cope with it.

but i have to say, it is difficult. maybe it explains my reluctance in friendship making of late. -_-

:/ :|

that being said. it is then i find who my friends are. :)) maybe i am selfish. i want them with me all the time. if only i can always get what i want. ;)

so to you, my friends who read my blog. you are the few who are still in my small circle of friends. and i am getting a little touchy, yes. yes, we don't see each other, hang out, chat, talk, write all the time. but do know that i do think about you. i don't act on my thoughts all the time but thanks for helping me keep our open relationship going. ;)

i apologize, the touchyness and emotion is highly correlated with the lateness of time and level of tiredness. :)